The Stay At Home Wife...

Sunday, April 29, 2007

27.9.1925-1.4.2007

Eino Eemeli SAILAS


Nuo vahvat kädet karkeat

mun olkapäälle nostivat,

ja päivän taakka viimeinen

ol varmaan höyhenen kevyinen.

Nuo rakkaat kädet isän oi

ne meille leivän pöytään soi.

Ne näytti merkit aapisen

ja veisti laivat ja hevosen.

(Veikko Lavi)

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Vegetable Mutilation and Lewd Fruit

Last night we had the second part of our Thai cooking course. Sam had been complaining about it for ages "who pays 15e to cut up vegetable??" and the concept in general "cutting up vegetables... ha!" I mean this had been going on for quite some time and every time I brought up the topic he would go on complaining. So, you could say that we were having some serious motivational problems (he even tried to make us late!) However, his attitude towards knives and vegetables was all about to change.

Carrot flowers and cucumber thing.

Sam ended up being the only guy and we ended up being the youngest ones (again!) but that didn't matter much, it's the results that count, right? And it wasn't that bad, at least it wasn't like a senior cruise. I mean most of the people there were in their thirties I would guess. But some were already into the whole vegetable decoration scene. This one lady brought her own knife... hmmm... which I was soon to realize wasn't such a bad idea.

Onion flowers

There are a few essential things that you need when making decorations with fruit and veg: 1. a good knife 2. a good vegetable (well shaped, not too raw and not too ripe) 3. patience. Of those three I swear I had none! My knife was sucky, at least when I was using it. It was blunt and would NEVER cut the way I wanted it to. I always picked the wrong vegetable/fruit. It was either too long or small or fat or just too darn squishy! And the one thing I just do NOT have, as regards to any aspect of life, is PATIENCE. I mean I want things done! I don't want to gently grate at a carrot for 15 minutes. I want to slice and dice right NOW! Heh. So, you can imagine what my creations looked like. Sam on the other hand is good at making little things with his hands and he has admirable amounts of patience. And it was truly visible in our work.

Sam's onion flower

My onion thing

Sam's root flower

My root flower (held together by toothpicks)

Sam's watermelon rose

There is no picture available for my watermelon rose because I ate it. I tried. I really did! I thought I got the center right, it was round, I guess. Then I started the petals and it all went down hill from there. I made two petals and looked at the thing and it looked like... well... part of the female anatomy. It really did! I tried to fix it. I cut at the lewd flesh of the mocking fruit. And I couldn't fix it! No matter what I did I could not erase the obvious genitalia from my watermelon! But it got worse! Sam's laughter brought the teacher over to see how we were getting along. Oh the humiliation of handing her my watermelon vagina! She observed it for a while and then judging by her expression she caught on. She cut a few pieces off and handed it back to me. Even though it looked much more like a flower I was still angry at the stupid fruit so I sulkily ate the darn thing. I'm sure you could make some Freudian assumptions on this but please don't.

Apple swans

All in all my boyfriend ended up thoroughly enjoying the course, I on the other hand will forever hate fruit and vegetables with a vengeance.


Monday, April 23, 2007

Helsinki Weekend

"Helsinki City Boys"

We ended up going to Helsinki just the two of us, my brother bailed out at the last minute. Still it was ok. IKEA was good. I can't believe they do breakfast for only 2e! And the best (and smallest according to Sam) hot dogs for 0,90e (yeah would you believe it, we went there for the food).

My mum's apartment was big compared to ours and she lives there alone! Pah. Still there was weird shit on the walls and the previous owner had some obsession with drilling holes or something. Oh and the funny thing is she has a huge ass TV but no bed. My boyfriend read that last sentence: "Oh and the funny thing is she has a huge ass... hmm... TV but no bed." Great. I hate it when people read over my shoulder *HINT HINT*

After IKEA we headed into Helsinki-town (let me remind you once again that it is Finland's ONLY CITY!!!) to meet up with my 'auntie' (ROFL) and cousin. I stepped into the BIGGEST pile of dog shit. I swear it was HUGE like as if every dog in Helsinki had taken a shit there... funn... NOT. Plus my cousin yelled: "OMG YOU JUST STEPPED INTO DOG SHIT" like uber loud and pretty much everyone turned to look. Yay!

Sam falling asleep at Chico's

We had dinner at Chico's. Steeaaaak and fries!! It was good stuff. Athough the guy did forget my order, but made up for it really quick. Oh and gave us candy as my boyfriend just pointed out. I also had some wings... man I love chicken wings! It's my new obsession since ribs. Hehe. After that we headed on back to my mum's and she tried to make us stay for the night, but in vain... hehe...

So, back to Tampere we went

Sunday was less eventful, in fact the most interesting thing we did was look at our neighbors make friends with our other neighbors. Woohoo. And we tried to sunbathe on our gravel garden but failed miserably. I also made burger like things:

for lunch. I was damn hungry so they were pretty good (I know they look kinda weird in the picture). Anyway, Sam is tired so I have to put him to bed.

Friday, April 20, 2007

Pizza and my first YouTube

After making that cocktail time seemed to go a heck of a lot faster and the sun came out. When Sam came home he was hungry and since I'm the domestic goddess that I am we ended up going out for pizza.
Hmmm... yeah how glamorous (and appetizing). Plus my brother came to stalk us (actually I think he was hiding from Emma ;)). So, we had a bacon, chicken, Parmesan and mushroom pizza which was surprisingly good.

Oh yea if anyone is interested in the rabbit porn I was talking about in my last post feel free to watch it:



If this doesn't work on Facebook (and it probably wont since Facebook already fucks up my layout when it imports my blog) then either go watch it on my original blog or then just check it out on my Facebook posts. Happy viewing :)

Blueberry Vodka Blues

It's now 12:38 and I still haven't done anything constructive today. So, I thought I would try my hand at making my very own cocktail! I mean it is past noon and heck I'm a student! I decided to make something uber-Finnish and figured that Finland is known for its lovely forests. Forest = berries = blueberry soup:

Next step, ALCOHOL. And what better than good old Finnish vodka:

...see, it even has the Finnish lion on the bottle, now that's uber-Finnish! Plus this vodka has the 'Swan symbol'

...which basically means good shit from Finland. (I was really getting into this... LOL) And so the two are mixed together and some lemonade is added. End product:

Laura's Blueberry Vodka Blues

The fact that it isn't blue is beside the point, it was delicious.

What a feeling!


I just woke up with what feels like a hangover. Damn, I think I'm getting sick cuz it can't be a hangover unless my alcohol tolerance has become awful.

Anyway I'm so damn glad we grilled yesterday because right now it's the shittiest weather but then again at least it's not snowing.

We were planning on taking a trip down to Helsinki to see my mum and do some shopping. I don't know if any of you know that my mum moved to Finland (Helsinki) at the beginning of the month. She got a job as some consultant school shrink specializing in cultural (ethnic) and immigrant issues (worst translation ever). She's the only one in Finland hahah so no pressure ;) So, I wanna go check out her apartment and go shopping in Helsinki, because honestly Finland just has one city and it sure isn't Tampere. The three places I wanna go to are: Tokyokan (Japanese food), Mr. Nibble (American food) and Ikea (Swedish furniture and FOOD)... hey I LOVE food and the more exotic the better (yea see Swedish food is exotic in Finland heh). I hope it doesn't snow cuz we only have semi-snow tires. This meaning that Sam plucked... damn I don't know the English word... hmm... hey here is a picture:

... yea so he plucked half of those spike things off (half not because half had any significance but half because he has lazy). So yes, semi-snow tires. And we're going to die... because our car is the car from HELL.

Car From Hell

Anyway I have now effectively wasted some of my time today... now what to go for the rest of the day. I could clean the house.... OR I could watch that episode of C.S.I. and Las Vegas I recorded... hehe... Guess which one I'm going to do ;)

Ps. I can't believe I'm having crisps for breakfast... man my mum would KILL me.